Oprah advice on dating

You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Harvey says.

"You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be." Without ironclad standards, Harvey says you'll always end up back in the dating pool.

"Other than my foundation -- mentoring programs -- everything I do is for money. If a man introduces you as a friend or says your name with no title at all, Harvey says you have nothing. Man with a plan Another thing women need to understand, according to Harvey, is that every man has a plan. Or as Harvey calls it, "the cookie." "We've got to have your support. "He's in the kitchen and he's eating and [my daughter's] boyfriend is in there, and [my father-in-law] goes: 'So, son, sit down. '" After plenty of hemming and hawing, Harvey says the boyfriend finally said that the two were just "kickin' it." Harvey was pretty confident his daughter didn't have the same interpretation of the relationship, he says. "They broke up the next day." Gone fishin' Harvey says men are like fishermen -- but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch.

Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. You won't be able to find one, though, until you up your standards.

Regardless of whether you are on a boyfriend-girlfriend-level relationship, or married, separation is the same serious issue with both types of relationships.

It may not be what you have on your physical self, but it can be what you can, and do offer to the table.

As an auto plant worker, Harvey says he had to wait 90 days to receive benefits -- and says the same probation period should apply to dating. They determined if I was easy to work with, if I got along well with others, if I showed up when I said I was going to show up, if I was worthy." Women, Harvey says, hold the greatest benefit of all -- the cookie -- so there's no reason to give it away until you know your man deserves it. "Look, you cannot run us off." So what if you don't want to wait 90 days? We created the term 'gold digger' so you won't ask us for nothing.

Harvey says if you change the probation period, you do so at your own risk. And men are aware of the fact that you are changing the rules. We're aware of the fact that you think there's a good shortage of good men out there," he says. We created the term 'nagging' so you can quit badgering us.

Yinka and Lynell are two 30-something friends who have long lists. Even if they aren't interested, don't they want closure? "Ladies, you're not going to get closure from a man," he says. The male mind may be a mystery to women, but Steve says there's a simple explanation for this behavior. If he's going to cheat, it has nothing to do with his emotional attachment to you or his feelings for you." Steve says cheaters make promises to their significant others because they know that's what women want to hear. The top 5 reasons: • They can • They think they can get away with it • The man hasn't become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly wants to be with.

Many women have long lists that describe what they're looking for in a man..are their standards simply too high? Just relax." Oprah.com: How to act like a lady, think like a man After a few dates, some guys just stop returning calls and texts. Michele found out her boyfriend of many years was cheating after he told her he was ready to settle down and get married. Steve says there are a few major reasons why men stray, though none of them excuse the behavior.

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