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Yet, these women still latch on, hoping they’ll one day change their man for the better.
Which begs the question: Settling for a deadbeat loser is like settling for a job you hate.
Even when our children become adults, we are more adult than they are. There may well be positive attributes in this person that you don’t yet see. Take the time to get to know the new partner up close and personal. Find out how she understands their romance and what she sees in their future. Either your anxieties will diminish or your child will see for himself the issues that make you anxious. You may not be able, at least yet, to love the person your kid loves — but if you work at it, you can probably find something to admire. He has the right to make his own decisions and his own mistakes.
If we want to maintain the relationship with an adult child and to continue to participate in the family’s life cycle, it’s up to us to keep our heads and to model how to agree to disagree. Do not allow yourself to get defensive or angry or threatening. If nothing else, the fact that she is able to withstand your disapproval deserves some grudging respect. Let him know you wish he saw it your way but that you will do your best to embrace the person he cares so much about. If there are children in the picture, focus on them. Provide whatever emotional support you can for the difficult job of raising a child. As much as we like to think we know better, we don’t always.
It might take one week, or it might take many months, but until a consummation is made, guys can be very charming!
Yet he’s serious about a girl from another country and culture. At times, it can threaten the very fabric of family life and the larger family culture.You won’t be able to be there to comfort him in the hard times or to celebrate with him in the good. You won’t have someone who knows who you are to care about what happens to you when you are sick or old.Does all that really outweigh the fact that you think the choice is misguided? Talk, really talk about what interests her and what she is passionate about.He probably is reasonably attractive and tells a good story about his current situation and his ambitions.Obviously, he will be on his best behavior during the wooing process.